I am thinking entirely too hard about what to include in this first post. “What do they want to know about me?” “What will cause them to come back again for the second post and the third?” I’m so over this dilemma.
This week’s thoughts are all about a boy. While I am aware of all the other options available for my attention, I choose the boy. Over the pile of work waiting beside my keyboard, over the editing I claim will be completed this week, and even over the gnawing craving for a handful of the M&M’s in plain sight at the moment, I choose the boy. The one I keep sighing over as I listen to Matt Nathanson. The one who has, for all practical purposes, become my reason for logging into facebook as often as I do. The one who is the first to make my stomach do somersaults since I was eighteen. Yes, there have been other attractions in the last nine years but none that equal the immediate, unshakable infatuation of the present. This dear boy produces such a mixture of hope vying against certain disappointment that I am left feeling imbalanced at all hours.
He’s the reason I can’t come up with anything more mature or consequential to write about today. Even putting that much in writing gives me some relief though. Putting a preoccupation down on paper (yes, I’m referring to this website as paper) releases it’s hold to some degree – some tiny and temporary degree.