Category: Writing

Because the Saints Said So, Gratitude, Intentionality, Saints, Writing

Because the Saints Said So: These Days (St. Gianna)

Carrie Sue Barnes
This is me pretending to be ok with the fact that I need a winter coat and hat again. And I need to leave the house even earlier to defrost my car. And my hands and feet will essentially be cold for the next four months (just ask my husband).
These days are hard for me in the motivation department. The uncomfortable temperatures, icy winds, and especially the sparse daylight hours take their toll and I tend toward hibernation instead of productivity. I’d wager I’m not the only one dealing with this seasonal slump. So what to do, what to do?

I used to think the trick was to focus on the future. Wishing my way through winter, counting on spring to come with all its fresh renewal of spirits and inner drive. What did that leave me with, really? A few months of dissatisfaction. There has to be a better way.

St. Gianna Molla said:

“The secret of happiness is to live moment by moment and to thank God for all that He, in His goodness, sends to us day after day.”

Moment by moment with thanksgiving. If I aspire to happiness in every season (winter, yes, but also any difficult or trying “season” you may experience), I must give thanks not merely for what is promised to come but what is here now. Am I thankful for the whipping cold wind? No. But I’m thankful for the sunshine on my skin. Am I thankful for having to wear layers and layers to be tolerably warm? No. But I’m thankful I have those layers to do so. Am I thankful for the darkness descending by the time I leave my office each day to drive home? No. But I am thankful for the brightness of the hugs I receive from my little ones when I walk in the door. Plus I guarantee those evenings make me more thankful for the light of dawn each morning.

What about this moment right now? Right now. Stop and be thankful. Pause to choose something worthy of your gratitude in this exact moment and consciously offer thanks to God. I’ll do it with you.

…

And now I’m a little bit happier with my day than before.

The side effect of all this gratitude isn’t only happiness. It’s that internal motivation to persevere in whatever tasks, projects, or endeavors you are tempted to neglect in this season. For me it is writing projects and being diligent about cooking worthwhile meals for the family. When we see the good in each day, in each moment even, how much greater the impetus to treat the day as deserving of your best.

The lovely hope of spring is still a fine reality to contemplate, but if I count on it to make me my best self in this season of my life I am likely to be disappointed. The gifts of today are reason enough to invest myself in living.

Intentionality, Writing

Chasing It Down

Carrie Sue Barnes

This is the first bit of writing I’ve done in three days. By last night I began to feel the desperate, urgent need in my gut. I cannot go without it. It took 25 years to fully realize my passion. That’s when I began the first draft of my first novel. When other (beautiful) things interrupted the pursuit, it took a handful of years before I rediscovered that same passion and dove back in. Now here I am, 35 years old, a few steps away from publishing that debut novel, and craving a taste of my passion whenever I set it aside for more than a day.

If you understand what I mean, you know there are two choices available: label the required effort a burden and gradually let it slip from your grasp, or chase it down with the fervor of a lover desperate not to lose his beloved.

I came across this image from success.com. Oh, how I laughed at the memory into which it plunged my mind. How applicable that memory happened to be for this train of thought. (Train! You’ll see why that’s funny in a moment.)

Maybe ten years ago, I traveled to Philadelphia with my sister and a good friend. We took the train to New York City for a day of living it up, tourist style. Sights were seen, miles were walked, photos were taken. It was grand fun apart from mildly injuring my foot in the early afternoon and continuing to walk on it for hours afterward. At the end of the day, really it was well into the evening, we tried to squeeze in one more must-see spot before navigating our way back to the train. To summarize, we at some point realized we had misread the train schedule and needed to haul our tired asses dozens of blocks across the dark, noisy, unfamiliar city to catch our connecting train or we would miss the last possible train into Philadelphia. So, haul ass we did. None of us were in great shape. None of us were runners. All three of us were already exhausted, all of us were doubtful we knew the way to the correct train station, and one of us had a terribly sore foot. Still, we ran. We ran through busy intersections and crowded sidewalks. We ran around street corners, glancing backward and forward to see if we were still a trio. We ran through the train station, our unrelenting pace echoing off the walls. We chased down that train like our lives depended on it.

There was no question of giving up. No contemplation of whether or not we should bother. We knew what we had to do and we did it. When we reached the summit of the steps exiting the station in Philadelphia and pointed ourselves toward our hotel, we laughed again and again over the adventure of it all.

I hope I can legitimately compare my pursuit of my passion (writing) with our pursuit of that train. I hope I pursue it like a cash poor, Midwestern girl who really, really wants to sleep in her hotel bed rather than wandering the dark and scary streets of NYC until dawn. I hope I never let up, never decide it is too much. I hope I come out the other side and laugh over the incomparable adventure of it all.

Lastly, I hope you find your passion worth chasing down. If you already found it, run hard, my friend. Run hard.

Full of Days, The Hidden Legacy, Writing

Doing the Hard Things

Carrie Sue Barnes
Ever have those days when God drops His subtle tendencies and instead places what you need smack dab in front of your face so you won’t miss it? Today was one of those days. A Facebook friend shared this photo today and I broke down crying.
There’s progress being made toward publishing Full of Days, my debut novel. Steps on this mountain climb of a dream coming true. Writing the first draft nine years ago was hard. Revisions ever since have been hard. Setting it aside when it was not top priority for a few years was hard. Rededicating myself to it this year with a level of commitment I had not employed since writing the first draft has been hard.
It’s all been hard and I have done it all. I have done it and every single bit has been worth it. That’s what I keep reminding myself as I acknowledge the intimidation I feel right now. There’s something no one ever told me about drawing close to fulfilling the dearest dream of your heart: it can be scary. Not pursuing the dream or giving up on it when you hit the inevitable bumps, those things are scary in their own crushing way. This is a different sort of scary. It’s not crushing. It’s not terrifying. It is simply intimidating.
The repeated question running through my head is, “what will I do if this falls apart because I can’t do it?” Sometimes the gist of that question is self-doubt, wondering if I am capable. Other times it is a panicked query of myself, at a loss for how I would handle this dream coming to an end so I’d better do everything possible to not let that happen.
I can do the hard things. As I’ve been doing and will continue to do until this novel is in the hands of every possible person willing to read it, I will do the hard things.
Full of Days, The Hidden Legacy, Writing

Almost

Carrie Sue Barnes

You know that tremendous weight of something being nearly finished but not quite? It is not a burden, this weight. It is thick with anticipation and heavy with significance. The matter paces the circuit of your brain, refusing to step off your mental homestead even while you focus elsewhere. It is always there, always present in the shadows, biding its time. It waits for that break in the day when you’ll pull it back into the light. It looks forward to those end of the evening hours when, despite the tiredness, you can’t bring yourself to be so cruel as to make it wait until tomorrow. It knows you’ll come for it if it simply holds its ground.

The book proposals are almost finished.

Writing

The Week I Took Over the Internet

Carrie Sue Barnes

I type this tucked into a high back lounge chair. My feet are up on a leather ottoman, laptop on my legs. The room is wonderfully quiet as most of the 200 conference attendees dutifully returned to the conference center for tonight’s keynote address. I, on the other hand, lingered here.

One of the pieces of advice offered at newbie orientation today was to step away when you needed a break from the group sessions. If you feel a compelling need to sit or walk alone, mulling over what you heard, or praying, or writing, do it. That’s where I found myself after the last presentation before dinner. My head is full of the information and advice from the experts I’ve listened to this afternoon. It is both thrilling and overwhelming. My internal reaction is approximately 71% energized and motivated to move forward, 22% discouragement that my manuscript will never ever be as good as necessary to find a publisher, and 7% desperate need to simply write without worrying about where the words will or won’t take me.

I’ve only been here six hours and already there has been an immeasurable amount to learn. I have briefly met publishers and editors and agents. I have shared conversations with other writers, full of dreams and drive. I have both questioned whether my goals are foolish, and reaffirmed that I cannot fathom life without writing. What a day.

This past week (and many other days in the last few months) was filled with focused preparation for this conference: one sheet, sample chapters, amateur headshot photo (thank you, honey), book proposal, researching the publishers and agents I’d have the opportunity to meet, and so on. If I’m being honest, it was all stressful. It’s been a while since anything has brought me that level of anxiety. I was suddenly tackling the nitty gritty of this endeavor and I grew scared.

Have you pursued a dream? Not merely imagined pursuing it but really, seriously pursued it. If so, you know what I mean. The closer you get to that dream being fulfilled, the more frightening the possibility that it will stay out of reach. There are no guarantees and that can be terrifying.

One piece of the preparation was setting up author pages on Facebook and Twitter. I’ll say it right now, self-promotion is uncomfortable! Even sharing the links on Facebook for my blog posts leaves me a bit embarrassed. It works though, so I do it. These online platforms are among the most useful for promoting your writing and making yourself available for discovery by potential readers. Publishers and agents are keen to know how you’ll help promote your work and having these already established can help your pitch.

Attempting to take over the internet this week (yeah, I now have a Twitter page, a personal Facebook page, an author Facebook page, and this blog), was exactly what I needed to prepare for this conference precisely because of how it made me feel. It was the perfect amount of sacrificing my comfort level for the sake of the goal to set me up to do more of the same now that I’m here. It helped me believe a little more that I can manage to network with strangers, that I can speak boldly about my unpublished manuscript to editors and agents, and that I will never stop writing, whatever might come.

Oh, and if you haven’t yet, you can follow me on Twitter @carrieinwriting and keep up with me at facebook.com/carrieinwriting. I’ll try to make it an enjoyable experience.

Writing, Writing Prompt

Prompted

Carrie Sue Barnes

On the occasions I venture onto Pinterest, I tend to seek out four sorts of pins: fashionable outfit ideas, dinner and dessert recipes, workout guides, and writing prompts. I virtually pin each one on the assigned virtual board then continue on the virtual quest for more. I make use of the workout guides regularly. I try out the recipes here and there. I sometimes pick out a few fashionable ensembles to inspire me when I go clothes shopping. Rarely do I take time to use the writing prompts.

So, why not employ this blog to prompt me to use my prompts! Stay tuned as I begin a commitment to use every single writing prompt I have at some point felt compelled to save for later. Silly, strange, vague, specific, fun, and dark – the gamut shall be covered! 
Writing

August At Its End

Carrie Sue Barnes

As far as this blog goes, I have been slacking terribly. As far as everything else though, I have not. August was a highly productive and enjoyable month.

  • Manuscript Revisions: Completed! I know that I will find additional changes to make and mistakes to correct as I do an out loud read through this month. However, the intensive round of revisions that began in January is finished and I am quite pleased with the results.
  • Miles Ran: 36.5! In July, I began running regularly. At first, it was intervals of walking and jogging. Eventually, I transitioned to steady running after a warm-up. I have spent August gradually increasing the distance of my runs plus improving my pace. This is a completely new endeavor and I am loving it! I feel stronger and healthier than possibly any other time in my adult years.
  • Blog Posts: 8; A small number compared to July, so this one isn’t as celebratory of a comment as the others. Still, I enjoyed writing The Willow Tree series and the final two pieces of that story will be posted soon! The proverbial ball shall keep on rolling for my readers.
  • Writers’ Conferences Scheduled: 1! Hip, hip, hooray! A few weeks ago, I registered for my first professional writers’ conference. It will take place at the end of September in southwest Michigan. Until then, I will be preparing my “one-sheet” for the editors and agents I have the opportunity to meet there, as well as writing a draft of a proposal for my novel in case any of them are interested in knowing more about it. I’m thrilled at the idea of immersing myself in the world of writing for a few days.
  • RCIA & Adult Confirmation Classes Completed: 0, technically; One more class left in September before the candidates I’ve been teaching all summer will receive the Sacrament of Confirmation. I’ll be stepping away from teaching these classes for the foreseeable future in order to focus more on writing, so it’s a bittersweet close to this journey. 
  • Dishes Washed, Laundry Folded, Meals Cooked, Hours Worked, Toys Picked Up, Children’s Books Read: Countless. My way of saying that there are so many pieces to the jigsaw puzzle of my life beyond what I talk about here. Life is good, and busy.
Now we enter September. Oh, happy month! It is my favorite of all the twelve. I plan to savor it and, God willing, be even more pleased with its results than August’s.
September’s First Rays of Sunshine (photo taken in Cleveland, WI)